I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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