Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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