You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
