Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
