I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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