Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
