Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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