It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
