Soap is not a condiment
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
