Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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