I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Someone signed my nipple.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
