i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
