Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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