he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
