I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
