The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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