I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
