I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
