You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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