I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
