Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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