Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize