you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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