I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
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I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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