I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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