During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
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The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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