I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
