I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
