Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
