i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
