yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
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