You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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