her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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