Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
