So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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