Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
