Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
