You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
