Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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