There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
