you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
