let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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