____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We need to get me chipped asap
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
