i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So much rum. So many feels.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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