so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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