I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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