What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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