Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
