you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it glows. i had to have it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
