Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
