oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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