I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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