just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
