your thong is hanging out like whoa
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
