Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have aggressive nipples.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
